Stop Being A “Nice Christian”

Jesus saw Nathanael coming to him, and saith of him, Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile!

Guile is the use of clever and usually dishonest methods to achieve something.

If you were to listen to the common description of what it means to be a Christian, you would hear something like, tolerant, loving, kind and peace loving, on other words nice. This is what people want Christians to be like.  They don’t want someone who makes them uncomfortable.  This is what many believe about Jesus Christ as well.  Christians have bought into the “nice” philosophy and filled their lives with guile. 

If we were, to be honest, and look at the real Jesus Christ as described in the Gospels, we would find a Christ that would by today’s standards not be nice.  Looking at the quotes taken from the Gospels we see a Christ that is not touchy-feely, not tolerant or nice.  He did not use clever means to get people to like Him.  He was not dishonest in telling the people the truth. Often, He would be considered brutally honest.  Here are some statements made by Jesus.

• “Do not give dogs what is holy; and do not throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under foot and turn to attack you.” (Matthew 7:6)   He was calling certain people dogs and swine.
• “Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth; I have not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s foes will be those of his own household.” (Matthew 10:34-36) Following Christ divides families and friends.
• “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung round his neck and he were thrown into the sea.” (Mark 9:42)   People who lead children into sin would be better off dead.
• “Every man who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.” (Luke 16:18) 
• “If a man does not abide in me, he is cast forth as a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire and burned.” (John 15:6) You either serve the LORD, or you can expect to burn.
• “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28) The look don’t touch philosophy does not work here.
• “Have you read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one? So, they are no longer two but one. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder.’” (Matthew 19:4-6) No question about who should marry-one man, one woman.
• “I came to cast fire upon the earth; and would that it were already kindled! …. Do you think that I have come to give peace on earth? No, I tell you, but rather division…” (Luke 12:49-51) Judgment is coming, and peace on earth is not going to happen until He returns.
• “He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters.” (Matthew 12:30) If you are not a follower of Christ, you are His enemy.
• “For you will always have the poor with you…” (Matthew 26:10) It does not matter what you do to wipe out poverty it will always be here.
• “What comes out of a man is what defiles a man. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, fornication, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a man.” (Mark 7:20-23) The actions of man are evil because they are what his heart desires.
• “Woe to those who laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep.” (Luke 6:25) It is a fearful thing to fall under the wrath of the LORD.
• “Thus you witness against yourselves, that you are sons of those who murdered the prophets. Fill up, then, the measure of your fathers. You serpents, you brood of vipers, how are you to escape being sentenced to hell?” (Matthew 23:31-33) No touchy-feely, nice guy here.
• “…unless you repent you will all likewise perish.” (Luke 13:3) You keep going the way you are, and you will end up in hell.
• “…go and do not sin again.” (John 8:11) STOP, doing the things you know are sin.

So, how did we get to the place in our Christian journey that we are to always be nice?  We start off in Sunday School learning that Jesus was nice to all people.  Since Jesus was nice to ALL people, we must be nice. This is erroneous teaching and causes individuals to not be honest in their relationship with people.

Most of us are guilty on some level of being unwilling, to be honest with people for fear of hurting their feelings.  We do not like looking less spiritual by saying no when we are asked to help someone.  We put that false smile on and say, “Yes, I would be happy to help.” We do this at the expense of our own well-being and our family. We overbook, over commit and extend ourselves in the name of being a good Christian. All because we are to be nice people. Though we are all certainly called to sacrifice for the greater good, something is radically wrong when most Christians are rushed, tired and at the end of the day stressed and exhausted.

There are those individuals who cannot get their life in order and are constantly texting, calling, and stopping by making you wonder why you every agreed to listen to them the first time.  Oh yes, you were just being nice. What about the friend who is always giving you a book or video to watch, because it “changed their life.”  You are so bored with the first chapter of the book or the first fifteen minutes of the video that you can’t finish them. Yet when they ask you about it, you tell them, “Oh it was interesting.”  Did you every stop to think being nice could be a sin?

What is it that causes us to put ourselves in these situations?  Is it because we wrongly believe that being “nice” is the same as being “godly”?  We are so geared to non-confrontational actions that we will not ruffle feathers, we don’t want to speak honestly, and we don’t want to say “no.”  Why is it that we cannot be honest?  We cower behind the guise of niceness thinking this is what our Christian faith is all about.  Performing duties that suck the spiritual life out of us is not what being a Christian is all about.  Going around with a plastic smile is not what God expects us to do. Then when we are not “nice” we feel guilty and wonder why we are such a bad person.

Many cannot say no to people whenever they present an idea different from what they think. I have listened to people agree with others when I knew they did not believe what was presented.  Many cannot be honest with people, especially if they feel they will let them down.  They will make excuses and even lie to make themselves look better instead of being honest with others.  On the other hand, when we are honest and express our true feelings we are considered harsh, unkind, and not nice.  If you ask me what I think, don’t get mad at me when I tell what I think.

Now, having read this don’t take this as a license to be a “Jerk for Jesus.” Don’t be that person who speaks “truth in love” but doesn’t show a whole lot of love.  There is no such gift as the gift of discouragement.

Jesus was radically different than the people-pleasing Christians many of us find ourselves being at times, Jesus is not a hammer looking to nail every person in sight either. May God grant us discretion, wisdom, and tact as we navigate through this life allowing His Holy Spirit to conform us to His image more and more each day.  Yes, it is important to nice but be honest while you are being nice.  We need to be like Nathanael, "an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile!"